Yesterday I had the old-age joy of going through a colonoscopy. I had my first one 5 years ago. I was not looking forward to doing it again, but here we are. The procedure isn't that bad, it's the prep. 2 days of special diet, then liquids only the day before and the day of and having to drink 4 liters of the most evil and foul concotion ever invented. It's simply misery in a bottle. Folks with $$$ can get away with taking a few pills and drinking Gatorade. If only that could be available to everyone.
Since the procedure was on the 14th and we were due in Monroe on the 15th, we decided to leave Chehalis Thousand Trails on the 13th and find somewhere near the hospital to over-night while I had to go through the bottle of misery. We found an out-of-the-way spot in the hospital parking lot. No one bothered us. This worked out really well. I had a 7:30 AM check in, so I was able to get up at 3:30 AM, finish off that evil concoction and walk into the building at 7:15. Good thing we left early since the main admittance door is closed due to Covid. We had to go to the Emergency entrance and walk through the building to the main admittance, stopping at a Covid screening on the way.
No one was allowed in the hospital if they didn't need to be there. No visitors. No one. Don couldn't even go to the coffee stand. He was able to wait in the trailer until everything was said and done.
I have "smart veins". They see the needle coming, so they run and hide. When it came time for the IV, I warned the nurse that he's going to end up poking around for a few minutes, hurting me, and then finallying calling in an expert. This is exactly what happened. Next time I'm going to insist they call in the expert.
During the procedure, I was awake enough to watch the monitor to see what they were doing. I could also feel it. I told them I could feel it. I was even cramping up. Being that my brain is hypersensitive to pain, I'm going to insist they knock me out next time.
Turns out they found a few polyps and one monster one. It was a mushroom type so it took them a bit to get it out. After they removed it, they had to leave in a thing that looks like an alligator clamp. I'm told I will pass that eventually. They want me to come back for another colonoscopy in 3 months to make sure they got all of it.
Again...in 3 months. Fuck.
I just hope the biopsy comes back negative, like it did 5 years ago, but given what has been par for 2020, I'm not confident.
Wish me luck.